Xbox World condemns Army of Two as an 'Army of Sh*t'

by Scott Jon Siegel { Dec 6th 2007 at 4:30AM }

EA's newest IP -- Army of Two -- apparently isn't all it's cracked up to be. So says GamesRadar sister-magazine Xbox World, who were set to review a near-final build of the game, until EA Montreal decided the game wasn't quite ready for release. The resulting preview is downright nasty in its condemnation of the cooperative FPS, which it fancifully re-titles "Army of Sh*t."

The criticism lies mostly with the game's storyline and main characters, the latter of which Xbox World decries as the least likable in video game history. The plot of the game is apparently incredibly xenophobic, with generic terrorist enemies who refer to the main characters as "f*cking infidels." The gameplay, meanwhile, is described as bland and repetitive, with numerous cut-scenes and clumsy controls.

Is there any hope for Army of Two? Not according to Xbox World, who describe the game's delay as nothing more than "a stay of execution." Considering their qualms lie largely with the game's intrinsic plot, writing, and characters, they could very well be right. We'll have to see come first-quarter 2008 whether the game is truly as sh*tty as they make it out to be.

[Via X3F]

Tags: army-of-two, armyoftwo, ea, ea-montreal, eamontreal

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

darkpowrjd @ Feb 12th 2008 7:58AM

Umm, guys, remember that the game ISN'T EVEN OUT YET! And this is coming from one person's thoughts about it (the only time I've seen this on the web, actually). Here we are, condemning the game as if what this guy's said was absolute fact. The control issue is the only thing that could be of any concern, and that could be addressed rather easily. The infidels comment I don't see the issue there, we've sat through long cutscenes before, and we don't know if this guy is just hard to please. We haven't really had a chance to PLAY the game yet.

Granted, EA doesn't have a good track record, but c'mon. PLEASE don't be THAT naive to just believe this person's OPINION as fact.

Shockgamer @ Dec 6th 2007 4:39AM

Pfft, this game is a pretender! It will never compare to the pure awesome of:

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/1413.html

Phillip @ Dec 6th 2007 8:17AM

Simply. Awesome.

xFenixKnightx @ Dec 6th 2007 9:01AM

Shockgamer

Man That vid just made me realize that This Gen graphics are soooooooo much better than last gen. COD4, GEARS, R6Vegas, GRAW,

GRANTED @ Dec 6th 2007 10:53AM

damn. in what other game do you get to kill osama bin laden 3 separate times. win.

Gus Lanzetta @ Dec 6th 2007 4:43AM

K&L and now this?
The two Co-op, anti-hero-ish games got the same problems?

Seems to me that writers can't really pull off that fine line between anti-hero and unlikable jerk-off.

TrenchyC @ Dec 6th 2007 4:58AM

It has EA on it... their products are produced at the lowest cost with basically all the people who buy playing the role of beta testers.

ssuk @ Dec 6th 2007 5:06AM

The trailer for the game made a very bad impression on me. The game just seems like a joke, while EA still try and push it as a serious TPS game... I'm not sure how the story over-all fairs, however it better be a damn sight better than "lol terrorists, go blow them up" with some one-liner jokes scattered everywhere like a bad Hollywood blockbuster.

Mr.ESC @ Dec 6th 2007 1:50PM

America Fuck Yeah!

Abscissa @ Dec 6th 2007 5:11AM

Is it really that hard to write "shit"?

ColossalHat @ Dec 6th 2007 5:49AM

They could write the word shit, but then someone might dislike the "tone" of their review.

FOXHOUND @ Dec 6th 2007 7:21AM

Joystiq can't type the s-expletive word because of their sponsor, "PoopDog Chocolate Bars & Candy". If they say/type the S-word, they would lose sponsorship and the editor would get fired for reasons described differently than what actually happened due to legality and confidentiality agreements with the situation truly revolving around keeping profitable sponsorship.

*whew* ...$#!+, that was a long turd of a response.

fyreblazer @ Dec 6th 2007 10:27AM

Haha @ the replies. Seriously though it may have to do with search results, url redirects, etc.

MyPackage @ Dec 6th 2007 1:56PM

"He called the shit Poo!"

Imadogg @ Dec 6th 2007 5:45AM

Noooooo I had so much hope for this game! My friend and I were going to buy it and Co-op all night long... please be a December fools and please please don't suck for our sake...

ThornedVenom @ Dec 6th 2007 10:47AM

I'm sorry little Jimmy, but seems like you're stuck with Contra 4 on the DS!

Poisoned Al @ Dec 6th 2007 6:11AM

Another AAA title that's not lived up to the hype. You know I thought this Christmas was going to ruin my wallet, but I guess not.

OTAM @ Dec 6th 2007 6:55AM

I feel exactly the same. So many promising games were supposed to come out this holiday and i've managed to get by with only 3-4 titles after all the other ones disappointed.

License to ill @ Dec 6th 2007 8:13AM

Dude this game was NEVER considered a Triple A title...

Poisoned Al @ Dec 6th 2007 8:33AM

True, but you know what I mean. There was a lot of disappointments this year.

SetofAllSets @ Dec 6th 2007 6:36AM

Army of Dung, is a better pun,
for a game that everyone, will shun

Korova @ Dec 6th 2007 7:37AM

plus wun

JL @ Dec 6th 2007 11:05AM

Its EA, of course its gonna suck.

I cant believe that people are still surprised by this.

mafafu @ Dec 6th 2007 7:38AM

So Gertsmann writes for Xbox World now?

Sesur @ Dec 6th 2007 7:40AM

Just let the poop fly by and keep playing Mass Effect and Call of Duty 4. We can afford the existence of a few shitty games this year.

Korova @ Dec 6th 2007 7:42AM

This review must be a tribute to Jeff Gerstmann

I am happy that reviewers are standing up and calling things for what they are. It brings higher standards to the game industry and recognizes that gamers cannot be bambozelled out of the cash/credit anymore.

I for one have a shelf full of four and five star games that I dont want to play or finish. Maybe if the reviews are harsher, devs will write better games.

Nintendo shovelware is going to get so spanked under the Gerstmann review system, its going to be sad.

xFenixKnightx @ Dec 6th 2007 8:31AM

=( I was waiting for this game. Hope Dark Sector doesnt suck because thats another one Ive been waiting for.

def PD @ Dec 6th 2007 8:33AM

Thank goodness I cancelled my preorder AND the game got delayed. I had high hopes for this game. Hopefully the extra time in development will make things better.

Blue_Falcon @ Dec 6th 2007 9:14AM

Wouldn't that make "Army of Number Two" a more appropriate title?

Homer 918 @ Dec 6th 2007 10:18AM

Lol, I award you 1000 internets for that comment.

Micheal82 @ Dec 6th 2007 4:11PM

Achivement Unlocked
Winning the Internets 1000 GS

SugarDaddy @ Dec 6th 2007 9:17AM

I was concerned that this game was going to glorify the private military contracting industry, but then I thought that maybe the army of 2 would realize that the PMC company they worked for was actually the problem and they would go after them in the end. Perhaps that's not the case and this game is actually just one big right-wing fantasy of killing brown people and raking in cash. Right wing fantasies tend to be pretty unimaginative, so if this is the case then this game will certainly suck big time.

Matt B @ Dec 6th 2007 9:27AM

I thought xbox world gave all 360 games 10's.

robert @ Dec 6th 2007 10:07AM

only exclusives... this one is multi platform

riggs @ Dec 6th 2007 10:50AM

roberts icon ftw.

Organic_Shadow @ Dec 6th 2007 10:27AM

Guys I think the biggest issue here is that this was EA's attempt at making a new IP, a new series, and getting to 'prove' that they can make a great game from the ground up. If they indeed have failed, then I guess there really is no hope for EA ever giving us any good games in the future via new IP's.

I know a lot of you are like 'well we didn't expect them to'. But think of it this way.... this huge entity in the games industry will probably never release any TRULY AWESOME GAMES. That's like going to a car dealership and half of the new car lot is being taken up by these muddy old semi-trucks and trailers that some jerks decided to park there. Leaving you to choose among whatever else is left.

The more EA consumes the more the industry apparently will become like VH1 and MTV. Quick, cheap, mindless crap just pushed out the door and then shoved down our throats.

Long live Activision/Blizzard- which apparently knows how to release quality games and handle IP's like a man.

too @ Dec 6th 2007 10:54AM

Blizzard? Releasing new IPs?

They've been using the same 3 crappy IPs since the mid 90s.

gonk @ Dec 6th 2007 10:56AM

no they're the same as ea now

Abscissa @ Dec 6th 2007 4:34PM

Blizzard...3 IPs?? I thought it was just Warcraft.

LaughingTarget @ Dec 6th 2007 5:40PM

Warcraft, Starcraft, Diablo...craft.

Anyway, I wouldn't say that EA doesn't put out good IPs. Not under their direct label maybe, but they do own Maxis (Spore) and now BioWare, both of which consistently put out good material.

ThornedVenom @ Dec 6th 2007 10:49AM

NOooOOOooOOooo.... I was expecting SO much from this game!

BRING BACK THE CO-OP DAYS! (meanwhile, Contra will have to do the job!)

The Boo @ Dec 6th 2007 11:00AM

This is a shame. I really wanted this to be good. For god's sake there's tampons!

warioswoods @ Dec 6th 2007 11:27AM

Reminds me of the review for a little album called Shark Sandwich.

Steve @ Dec 6th 2007 12:50PM

Yeah but it's no Intravenous DeMilo.

J @ Dec 6th 2007 3:08PM

2 Words... LOL

tmacairjordan87 @ Dec 6th 2007 1:26PM

i just knew that this game and kane and lynch were overrated and were going to turn out as complete shit. Hopefully this one doesn't get any respectable game journalist fired though

Mr Slavio @ Dec 6th 2007 3:21PM

"#1 most anticipated game" - EGM, July 2006

NATO_Duke @ Dec 6th 2007 4:15PM

ouch.

Defenestrator2.0 @ Dec 6th 2007 6:33PM

Hey, EGM has been making fun of the game from day one. Besides, it's completely different hearing the concept of the game and actually seeing it executed. Good sounding games can suck, and bad sounding games can rock. My point is, this quote was long before the game really was even in a semi-playable stage.